I recently went to a remote place down south to break free. Diffused myself from a convulsing metanoia.
A day of bliss... Of quiet removal and separation from the city.
It rekindled my love for geology, as the karst limestone landscapes proudly told their story, only understood in detail by scientists and archaeologists.
The caves were beautiful.
The ocean is powerful, large, vast, slow and sure in its dominance over the most solid of rock.
The world is amazing.
Even how it is being destroyed by man is a sight to behold.
Experiencing some stark changes in my life and relationships. Those close are now a little further. I think my openness had turned into vulnerability. The walls around my heart and mind had been broken to free myself from silent suffering, especially regarding my mental condition. Now it is time to re-erect them, in a more sophisticated and strategic fashion, to create an efficient fort that will leave the useless out and let the best most edifying in.
Plus my heart needs more guarding.
I have been feeling success in my release of any thoughts of romance. Limitations and boundaries, consequences and consideration.
They are helping.
A recent wild episode (brought about by inebriation) has both taken away much of my freedom but also has helped me get over some shit I needed to. It was liberating, but the effects are frustrating.
I have no wishes. I only wonder now.
And my fate is to wander, wide-eyed.
Those limestone cliffs always made me picture a young boy standing on them being whipped by the strong Northeast winds and crashing brine... But never did I once think about jumping off them to my death.
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